In our culture we are not taught to see falling in
love as a spiritual event, yet for centuries that
was the accepted interpretation.
When the question “Where does love come from?”
was asked, the universal answer was God.
The lives of saints of every religion have
demonstrated love in its spiritual dimension;
at the same time the humblest person who
fell in love also realized he was treading
on sacred ground. Over the centuries,
particularly in the West, the divine connection
In spiritual terms falling in love is an opening,
an opportunity to step into the timeless and
stay there, to learn the ways of spirit and bring
them down to earth.
All openings are temporary – this is not a
limitation specific to falling in love.
The real question is, What should we do
with the opening? The highest spiritual
qualities – those of truth, faith, trust, and
compassion – grow from the tiniest seeds
of daily experience. How can we tend this
fragile opening of the heart, nurture it
until it develops into more substantial
stages of growth?
We must examine romance, the first stage in
love’s journey, as part of a timeless cycle
that brings greater and greater knowledge of
There are four distinct phases of romance:
attraction, infatuation, courtship, and
intimacy. Although not everyone can expect
to experience them exactly the same way, all
four naturally emerge once your feeling for
someone else go beyond friendship to
passionate attachment. These four phases of
romance occur in a natural, linear sequence,
but at the same time they come full circle.
Although it happens spontaneously, falling
in love isn’t accidental – there are no
accidents in the spiritual life, only patterns
we haven’t yet recognized.
All love is based on the search for spirit.
` by Deepak Chopra (Three Rivers Press, 1997).