Friday, January 05, 2007

Where do healthy boundaries –those emotional
boundaries that define our own unique presence
--fit in? Don’t boundaries keep us separate?
Is merging with another the goal?
Are you misunderstanding the true nature of
unconditional love? Find out what this wise
author has to say about it, and its relationship
to healthy boundaries, here:

Unconditional love has no goal in view. It simply
is. It is the love that made us. I believe that
this is the root of humankind’s restlessness, that
we are looking for unconditional love and do not
realize that it is already within us. So we
fantasize and when we hear about unconditional
love, we think we must emulate God and extend it
to everybody immediately.

Then, of course, we flunk and feel a failure.
Unconditional love is a universal principle, but
it is also a learning experience. If we take
the conscious decision to choose love as our spiritual
practice, our personality blooms and flourishes.
We grow.

But a misunderstanding of the true nature of
unconditional love can be disempowering and weaken
a person‘s capacity for self-sovereignty. It can
foster dependency and co-dependency in a relationship.
If I surrender or ignore my boundaries, then I don’t
have to worry about or do the hard work of maintaining
them. But boundaries don’t have to be separative
at all; they are defining, and they help coalesce
and focus energy and presence in a unique way.

Unconditional love does not say “I love everyone
equally,” but rather “I love everyone appropriately
and in response to their uniqueness.” And, very
importantly, unconditional love does not mean
unconditional acceptance of behaviors.

~ The Findhorn Book of Unconditional Love, by Tony Mitton ~

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