Tuesday, September 16, 2003


An Abuse of Trust

About 6 years ago, I have a friend who went Australia to further studies. But we promised to chat online whenever we can. The first week when she was there, we have a chat a long chat about her life, her roommates over there. Some time she would send me a photo of herself and her roommates, there was no one particular attracted me at that time. One night as usual, while she and I were chatting, she told me her guy friend who is from Hong Kong want to chat with me, I was fine with it and I ended up chatting with her guy friend more than my friend that night. And this continues for weeks, until one night as usual when we were chatting without my friend, he told me “I think I have feeling for you a different feeling, not the kind of friendship”. I was kind of surprise but elated as well, because if he hasn’t mentioned it, I will never have realize it myself too. At that time all I know I just want to chat with him, and those words he type on the screen were as if he was talking to me just next to my ear. And never did I would imagine the first guy I like would be someone I never seen before. We actually pronounced, as couple to our friends. We started to chat on the phone as well as on the net ever since then. We talk on the phone as if we have known each other for a long time sometime we could quarrel over little things just like any couple. Although he was just someone only my friend know how he look like in person, that didn’t bother me much, But I was jealous because my friend was staying at the house with him. I didn’t told my friend about this
Finally when their holiday came, I look forward to their return, because finally I get to see the guy I have been chatting with, but only my friend return home, not him, as he has to return to home which is about 3 hours flight away from me (I was in Malaysia then). I was disappointed. When my friend came home, she told about this guy, what they do back there, and I really envy her. I told the guy that I wanted to see him and instead of talking over the phone and on the net, it would be better if we could talk in person. I wanted to go on a real date with him, a stroll on the beach. He agree too, and had decided to made plan to visit me, but somehow, things didn’t turn out well, he can’t leave Hong Kong neither can I leave Malaysia to visit him. Finally their holiday is over, and they are back at Australia. And the chatting on the net and phone continue for months

I was really disappointed. This time when he was back at Australia, we still talk as usually until one night, I forget what we were talking but somehow it lead to something that not only surprise me but also cost my friendship. He told me he had sex with my friend and it was after the day he told me he have feeling for me. I don’t know why he told me
what is his purpose of doing this. If he didn’t told, I would never know it. It hurt me. I cried the whole night that day. I feel cheated, because when my friend was home, and all she was talking was about him, her other friends, their house etc, but not a single thing about this. And I feel like a dummy cheated by a friend and a guy who I think I like

I don’t know during that period, did I put in any feeling in this relationship at all. I started to think what kind of relationship are we having then; we talk on the net, phone sending gifts across the ocean to each other for 6 months The feeling was no doubt sweet that time and everyday I looking forward to his call
?our chat on the net. Was it love
Although, now I have throw away all the letters he send to me, the gifts, and the photos about him but somehow sometime I will think of him and my friend. But the feeling is different now. I no longer hate my friend nor him as before. I never keep in contact with my friend . Because after that confession from the guy, the relationship between the guy and my friend sour. Till today, I believe my friend had feeling for him too at that time. But I will never have a chance to know this

I am thankful, he didn’t visit me when he should, because if he has did, it might be a different story. And I won’t have a chance to know my present boyfriend of 4 years and we are planning to get engaged. At least the guy next to me now is always there for me and he has show me what love is

~Author Unknown~

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